My husband and I have two beautiful boys.
Before I begin, I’d like to start off by stating that you know your child best.
Every mother has her own approach to breastfeeding or formula feeding.
Yes, I’m a huge advocate of breastfeeding as it provides our babies with an abundance of nutrients (i.e. strengthens their immune systems), helps us mommas loose that pesky baby weight faster, and much more. I wish I could have relied solely on breastfeeding my two boys, but my body doesn’t work that way.
If you have had a similar experience as me, my wish is that you don’t feel like a failure. I put myself down so much with my first baby, and for what? It took me a while but I finally realize what’s important – that I love my children with all my heart, and will always do what’s in their best interests.
If you have already checked out my “Favourite Baby Products” page, you may have seen the most wonderful, magical formula tool that I have found in my experience as a Mommy. You may have also read a bit about my experience with breastfeeding and formula feeding.
My first son was born over ten pounds. Ten. Pounds. He was massive, and being a first time mother, I was incredibly stressed out in regards to his feedings. A lot of stress.
When I tell you that I cried like a baby during his first two months, I mean it. I thought I would never sleep again. More importantly, I knew my son was suffering in some way. Let me explain.
When Joseph was born I was told to by the hospital staff to breastfeed only. After a couple of months, we discovered that no matter what I did, I had very little milk.
The lactation consultant kept reassuring me that my milk would come in. The nurses at the hospital where he was born told me the same thing, so Joseph was constantly breastfeeding. I did nothing but breastfeed all day (I thought it was just him cluster feeding).
We went back to the lactation consultant, she studied him and his weight loss and said going forward it was okay if we gave him 2 ounces of ready to feed formula after he was breastfed.
The lactation consultant and healthcare staff who told me to keep breastfeeding were right – the more a baby feeds, the more milk your body usually produces! But after two months of having my son scream through every single day and night, seeing him lose weight, and the constant crying on my end, I told my husband that we were going to do what was needed.
That meant feeding my son as much formula as his body needed. Our GP also told me that because of his size, it would be fine to supplement as long as I continued to offer breast first. Which I did!
This is why it is so important that we never, ever shame other mothers on the way in which they feed their infant.
Please, read that sentence again. I was on the verge of a mental breakdown. To this day, I still get teary eyed thinking about what my little guy went through. He was starving. From then on, after nursing him for about an hour, Joey would eat an 8 ounce bottle of formula. Not 2 ounces, but 8!
To put it simply: he was a different kind of baby. He shot through his diapers and clothes. By 5 months, he was in 12-18 month clothing. People have always thought he’s a lot older than what he actually is.
As soon as we started formula feeding, I noticed such a difference in my baby. He stopped crying. He was always so happy. He responded to us, he played with us. It was a completely different child.
My second son, now 4 months old, is also topped up with formula after I finish nursing him. The difference is astonishing, as Theo only eats about 3-4 ounces of formula per feed. I look back at Joseph and compare the two. 3-4 ounces with my second baby as opposed to 8 ounces of formula with my first. What a difference.
At every check up, our doctor can not believe how tall our kids are.
Thankfully, after two children, I finally realize that I need to examine their individual needs and act accordingly.
So if you are stressed about your child’s feedings, please do not be ashamed about seeking out some help. I am sure most mothers worry about feedings, especially with their first!
Talk to your doctor, lactation consultant, or public health nurse if you have questions!
I will post my magical formula making tool down below! Whatever your situation is, if you formula feed your child, here is my number one most valued baby item: Dr. Brown’s Formula Mixing Pitcher!
I am obsessed. The milk comes out super creamy, the pitcher comes apart, and it is incredibly easy to clean/sterilize. I found mine on Amazon!
All the best with your feeds, parents!
TKM
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Breast or bottle doesn’t matter. Fed matters. I adopted my daughters from birth and both are formula fed. Both are happy and healthy. Both continually exceed average developmental marks. Yes, breastfed is beautiful and arguably the best option nutritionally, but no mother should ever feel guilt, shame, or anxiety over not doing it/not being able to do it/stopping. What is important is that the child is fed, healthy, and HAPPY!
Exactly!! I wish I never felt that guilt because I look at my son now and he is thriving! Great points Momma!!
I remember feeling so pressured to breastfeed my babies and I hated it. I ended up bottle feeding all 3 of my kids and even with the 3rd one, I still had family call me out on it. Do what is best for your baby. Love it!
A fed baby is a happy baby! 🙂
Fed is always best! I wish I had that formula mixing tool when my oldest was an infant.
That’s right! And I wish I had it with my first too, it saved me so much time!
Awww so sorry you have to go through with that but you are such a wonderful mama and I agree with your statement that only you know what is best for your child. Your kids are healthy and look so adorable! Other people should just mind their own business. You got this!
Thank you so much Alyssa! That’s very sweet of you to say 🙂
I totally agree that we have to do what is best for each child and for the mama too… I had to pump almost exclusively to feed my older one while it was much easier with my younger one. and so adding on formula, especially for my older, was needed.
You’re so right, one should NEVER judge another mother. My experience with my first sounds very similar to what you went through with your older son. I was shocked at how quickly we went through all those freebie sample canisters of formula that I never expected we’d use!
Sorry for what you have gone through. But you are a true supermom. Keep it up!